Scarletpappion

Monday, November 14, 2005

Short & Sweet

I haven't had much to post about lately, hence the reason for not posting. I did find my best friend from High School through myspace. Unfortunately our schedules seem to conflict and we haven't had much time to talk. Her free minutes don't start until 11pm my time and by then I'm usually sound asleep. And when I get off work, she's still working. Maybe one day soon I will get a chance to catch up with her.

In the mean time, I have been working, working, working. So far 8 days straight and 4 more days to go before I get 2 days off. And with my luck, my boss will ask me to work Saturday for our Pre-Christmas Sale. Even though the $$ would be nice, I think I'm going to pass. I already cancelled last Saturday's hair appt and re-scheduled for this Sat. So as far as I'm concerned, I have other plans. ;-)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Here's Hayden in his "Man Eating Shark" costume.

I couldn't resist seeing how Tomas would look in the "Fairy" costume....I think he likes it.

Happy Halloween! Here's my chi in his "fairy" costume.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Last Ride of the Season

Sunday morning me and Suz met up with 4 of our girl friends and went on our last ride of the season. Our destination: Brown County. Susan had a "special route" picked out that was supposed to be a nice scenic ride to Brown County. We headed out at 10am. We had 2 inexperienced riders with us, so I made sure to keep everybody together by riding the tail end. We headed up US31 for about 35 miles. About 15 miles into it, this car got between us. Three in front and three in back. One our friends Betsy is a little older and has arthritis and a few other ailments. She was the last of the 3 in front. The car between us decided to ride on her tail. I was FURIOUS!! I was trying to give him hand signals to back off, but it was no use. I didn't want to leave my post, as I was with the 2 inexperienced riders. When we finally came to a stop, me and my friend got beside the car and tapped on his window. He rolled it down and we told him he needed to BACKOFF! He was a little upset, and my friend managed to get in front of him to keep him off Betsy's ass. He at least listened and kept a safe distance for another 10 miles or so before he finally turned off. I don't understand why people have to tailgate motorcyclists. Back the fuck up and be considerate. It's not that much to ask!

Anway, we continued until we got to the turn that was supposed to take us along windy roads and into Brown County. We rode and rode and finally stopped to figure out we were lost. Somewhere Suz made a wrong turn. We were in a little podunk town called Sweet Water. Suz called her friend that gave her the directions and he said we missed the turn, so we backtracked and thought we found the right route. The road was beautiful and curvy, but we were still lost! We decided to just ride it out and see where we came out at. About 1.5 hours later, we ended up on US31 and headed north to get back home.

The ride was fun, even though we didn't get to our destination. I wished we could have ridden a little faster, but the 2 girls in front of me were VERY Slow and I had to be on the brakes just to give them plenty of room. I sure wish Suz would go on a ride with just me. It seems that I am not good enough for us to go on a nice ride together. She always has to have other people around. Her other group of friends that are guys ride way too fast! I can keep up, but I don't like the pressure. I just want to ride at a nice pace, enjoy the scenery and ride a moderate speed. Maybe next year I can find a friend that know's how to ride..not too slow and not too fast. Yeah, I know, I'm dreamin...

Monday, October 10, 2005

Update

Funny how as soon as I write about how things aren't going my way (blah, blah, blah). The next thing I know, work is going great, I'm selling bikes from out of nowhere and I have been busy as a bee. (which is all I wanted) There's nothing worse than sitting at work for 8 hours with nothing to do. I have a really great job, but sometimes I run out of things to do. As of now, I am happy, working away the day with no complaints!

As for Suz, things have been pretty good. She went to her ex's house today to "help" move appliances. I have a little peeve with this ex. It just so happens she is always in the middle of me, my loves and my friends. She is a Drama Queen. She thrives on attention. It was really hard for Suz to get over this girl. Even though they were broken up and Suz and I started dating, we all used to go out together. They also used to live next door (apt's) to each other. Anyway, one night Chelsi called her over and turns out Suz was trying to kiss her. Since that night, I have never trusted them two alone together. I used to get really jealous and tell her she couldn't be alone with her. She knows how I feel and even to this day, I don't feel it's necessary for her to be hanging out with Chelsi. So I called Suz at 2:00 and she was there "watching motocross". Her plans were to hang out there until 5:00 then go to work meeting she has at 6:00. She said she would call on her way out. Well it's 5:40 and no call. Inside I'm a little jealous. But then sometimes I hope she fucks up and that's my way out. Sometimes I just want to be single in my own space. Alot of that is my selfishness. It's all about what I want to do. Then I think to myself: Will I be as miserable as I was when we first broke up? I didn't eat, barely slept and was filled with anxiety. I doubt I could feel that way again, after all we have been through. But when I think of leaving her, my heart hurts and I think of all the great times we had. In the end, it will come down to her. She has a cheating past and I know that. But if I find out about any current slips, you can bet I will be packing my bags and hitting the road.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

A little better

This last week has wreaked havoc on me. I have been moody, selfish and down right rude. Work has been getting the best of me and by the time I get home I am cranky and tired. Funny thing about my job. It's a great position and I am lucky to have it. Yet I complain to no end and find fault in almost everything. In hindsight I can see it clearly. But this week I was blind. It seemed like nothing could go right. Realisticly, it was things weren't going MY way. How and When did I become so selfish and self centered??? I go home at night and I am rude to my wife and I offer her no love or support. I try to hurt her, because I am feeling hurt. I close up and I won't talk about anything. I sit on the couch smoke a bowl and watch tv for the entire night. She sits next to me working her p/t job on MY laptop all night. I can't even use my own computer. She is on it every night, all night. Working for a company she says she's part owner. She has never received any pay. She works easily 3-4 hrs a night, every night. It's old. I'm bored. I'm selfish. I want to spend quality time with her. I would love for us to do Yoga together or go for a walk, or watch a movie and just enjoy each other's company. When we talk about it, we both get defensive. She says all I do is get high and watch tv. I say all she does is work, work, work. So we both shut up and agree to disagree.

I do love her. I know she loves me. We need to spice up our lives. When I get bored with work, life or relationships I have this habit of finding somewhere new. Last time I packed up and moved to Indy. Sometimes I think about going home. But I can't just leave her and all our animals. I can't just quit my job and walk away from everything this time. I did it before and I thought I would find happiness. But running away does not equal happiness. That is something I must find within myself and accept who I am and whom I have chosen to love. I made too many promises to just walk away.

Today I am feeling a bit better. I don't feel so hopeless. I don't want to be cold and hurtful. I want to be loving and cherish our relationship. I guess all I can do is start from here....

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Vegas

Well I just spent an hour writing this post and hit the spell check button. The entire post is gone! I can't believe this! I don't think I will be re-typing all that anytime soon. I will say this: Vegas was a blast. We ate, drank, went to a show, went on a Sunset horseback ride, gambled, won, lost, won and left. It went by too fast, but it was worth every cent.

A view from the canyon.

This picture was taken by Hawk one of the "cowboys", it's the best one he took out of 10 pictures. He couldn't even get the whole horse in the picture.

View from the horse trail.

Me with Teddy Bear.

Driving to Red Rock Canyon, view from the car.

Suz driving us to Red Rock Canyon for Horseback riding.

Susan's b-day cake, delivered to the room.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Going to Vegas

Tonight I give Susan her birthday present. Saturday morning we are leaving for Las Vegas! I have been so excited for the last 2 months. I couldn't share this information, in case she happened to come across my blog. Originally I was going to keep it a secret until Friday night. Now I feel like I want to tell her so we can be excited and talk about it for the next few days. I made a really cool presentation for her. Basically I will hand her a box and inside she will find laminated cards that I made telling her all the fun things I have in store for her. The first card reads: We're going to Vegas, Baby! 2 days & 2 nights, anything your heart desires..is YOURS. The second card reads: We are flying out Saturday morning then heading to pick up our rental car so I can take her anywhere she wants to go. The third card reads: We are staying at the MGM Grand and have tickets to La Femme on Saturday night. The fourth card reads: Here are a few fun things we can do if you so desire: Indoor Skydiving, Cowboy Trail Rides or Indoor Cart Racing.

I have some more fun things planned to, but I to be spontaneous and make sure it's something she wants to do too. So that's it. Now I just have to get through the next few days and we are outta here for some fun!

: Name: scarletpappion; Location: Indianapolis, Indiana, United States

I am currently in a committed relationship with the woman I fell in love with a year ago. After she finally realized I was the one for her, we moved in together and began our life journey together. We love riding our motorcycles and playing with our babies; Chopper (Dane Mix), Jules (German Shepard), Potito (Chihuahua), Eve (baby kitten), Baby Kitty and Thomas (fat cat). Yes, we LOVE animals. But we are currently at our maximum capacity!

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